So, I've been sitting on my ass a lot the past two months. There are reasons and excuses but nothing that really holds up when someone shines a light on them. Yes, my wife left in July and that stung but I had Matthew and Brayden to get me through. By the time they went back to school in late August, I was on a pretty good track. Them being gone allowed me to change my eating and really begin dropping some pounds. January 15, 2015 I weighed 270 pounds. September 1, 2016 I weighed 225. Soi lost 45 pounds in 17 months. Not too bad. March 1, 2017 I weighed 195 pounds. So, that's a little more like it. 30 pounds lost in 6 months, most of it by New Years. I was in the gym or running 7 days a week. Eating very clean, except work lunches which have been the hardest part for me.
Now the problem starts. I went home for Christmas with Matthew. We flew down and the trip was a fiasco. We're probably done with United for travel. Anyway 6 hours late getting to Dallas. Got our car the next day and hung out with Natalie. I'd already gotten Brayden in trouble for missing days going on the cruise, so we spent another night in Dallas for him to not miss school. Again hung out with Natalie. Finally picked Brayden up from school and headed south. We stopped in Austin to see Granny and Carolyn. Had a nice dinner and stayed the night. Got up the next morning and drove into town to see Bill and Mason. Had a nice game, or three, of basketball. Bill and I actually beat the college boy and Mason once.
Then 6 days in Padre with Bobby's family, Mom, James, Kevin, Linda and Ross. Lots of fun. Lots of noise. Lots of chaos. Lots of things I wasn't really used to anymore, but that'd I'd really missed. Took a night off to hang out with Sarah and celebrate her birthday at midnight with a bottle of wine and a few beers. We sat around a fire in her back yard and talked until almost 1am. Very peaceful night. I really enjoyed the whole trip.
I flew home on the 27th, alone. I had a horrible sense of just being alone. The divorce wasn't yet final. I hadn't thought much about what to do after it was because I thought I was doing just fine. I'd been happy. I'd lost weight. I'd gotten in much better shape. But, at that moment, I was fucking lonely and it scared me.
New Year's Day I skied, alone, because Matthew was still in Texas. It was a beautiful day. So much so that I thought I'd do it again the next day. I show up and BOOM! There's the ex with her new, not new, boyfriend. That rocked me. Shook me to my core. I tried to ski but they were everywhere. I left, got drunk and started digging myself a hole that it's taken me a couple of months to be really ready to climb out of. PS, I hate that bitch. I'm sure it won't always be that way, but I do right now.
So, I did things I said I'd never do, or never do again. I'm probably lucky to still have a job. I might not if I hadn't talked to my boss the very next day and told him what was going on. I signed up for online dating because I don't know anyone here. She, and the boys, were my whole social world and they were missing.
I met LB, yep same damn initials. Can't see that ever tripping me up....... Anyway, met LB online. Emailed and texted for almost two weeks before we met for our first date. My first real date since 1992 or so. Can't see this going wrong yet, can you?????? She's a first grade teacher. I'm oilfield and all that goes along with that. Foul mouthed. Quick tempered, but I'm really not anymore. But, there was something about her. She's very fit according to her profile pics. She runs, like A LOT. Think marathons and longer. So, I worked out two whole days in a row before our date. It didn't do anything but it helped me mentally.
First date. I was early, as always. She was late, as is her norm. She got out of the car. She looked nothing like her profile pics. I mean, they were of her but goddamn. She looks probably twice as good in person. My mind exploded and that's pretty much all I remember. She said I called her a dumbass five minutes in to the date. I have no recollection of that. None. I ate pasta. She had fish. That's about as detailed as I can be.
Next day, she says thanks but no thanks. I said ok. Told her she should have left during dinner.
The next day I asker her to call me so I could explain. She did. I did. She's so nice that she agreed to meet me for dinner after work two days later.
To be continued. I promise.
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